One day into the diet and a girls night out to see Mamma Mia ( the movie ) is called..........
great idea !! ......... formal weigh in took place to verify starting point and detailed tactics discussed.
Alcohol is prohibited for two weeks and as we were planning on having a tipple before the film we decided that a non alcoholic fruit cocktail would be appropriate.....................
Unfortunately on arrival we were somewhat swayed by the blackboard advertisement for a bottle of rose wine..........bursting with summer fruits....so we convinced ourselves it would count as one of our '5 a day' and ordered a bottle !!
I'm sure Nick is rubbing his hands at this failure so early on in the game !
In the words of Patsy and Adena ( alias Sarah and Saggy Bottom ) the film was 'Absolutely Fabulous' but think we should have done some dancing to burn off those extra calories..... It certainly fired up our imaginations and a cunning secret plot has been hatched between the Usk Dancing Queens to make the wedding party go off with a bang (pardon the pun).
Wednesday, 6 August 2008
Monday, 4 August 2008
I Don't Like Mondays
The day has just begun when most women of the world who have decided to loose weight embark on their uphill struggle......... MONDAY.
Usually, on a good day, the idea of dieting may last until 7.00pm when the lure of a takeaway indian succumbs.....but focused we are, and focused we will remain ( fingers crossed! )
Remember, there is only just over two weeks before we have to display ourselves semi naked by the swimming pool in France, so action is required NOW.............. but even as I write this, the thought of an invitation for a walk, and fish and chips on Penarth Pier is weakening my resolve already!
Maybe we will just have to exchange our itsy bitsy yellow polka dot bikinis for hideous oversized leopard print Kaftans (on sale in House of Fraser) to hide ourselves behind, after all we know sun ages us prematurely and as the years creep up, we need every bit of help we can get! Or how about a burka? now why haven't I thought of that before now?
Just discovered I have Supraspinatus Tendonitis? and must avoid exercise, as if I need an excuse! Why do I feel the need for a pound of Dairy Milk at this precise moment?
We must try to employ Amanda's mantra of DO IT NOW! ..........but can't help thinking this in respect of scoffing the chocolate, rather than sticking to the diet.
Anyway...............
Usually, on a good day, the idea of dieting may last until 7.00pm when the lure of a takeaway indian succumbs.....but focused we are, and focused we will remain ( fingers crossed! )
Remember, there is only just over two weeks before we have to display ourselves semi naked by the swimming pool in France, so action is required NOW.............. but even as I write this, the thought of an invitation for a walk, and fish and chips on Penarth Pier is weakening my resolve already!
Maybe we will just have to exchange our itsy bitsy yellow polka dot bikinis for hideous oversized leopard print Kaftans (on sale in House of Fraser) to hide ourselves behind, after all we know sun ages us prematurely and as the years creep up, we need every bit of help we can get! Or how about a burka? now why haven't I thought of that before now?
Just discovered I have Supraspinatus Tendonitis? and must avoid exercise, as if I need an excuse! Why do I feel the need for a pound of Dairy Milk at this precise moment?
We must try to employ Amanda's mantra of DO IT NOW! ..........but can't help thinking this in respect of scoffing the chocolate, rather than sticking to the diet.
Anyway...............
THE TWO WEEK PLAN:
The Complete Medical Scarsdale Diet (with the 18 in 4 as a standby if results aren't forthcoming)
.......... in theory, this should easily shift the whole stone, and more, in less than two weeks but we will probably need a medical certificate to travel and a wheelchair to get to the plane (or Ferry)..............at least we'd be the first on and get a good seat!
Remember every cloud has a silver lining.
Will report on progress if strength allows !
Saturday, 2 August 2008
Jelly Belly & Saggy Bottom Unite For A Common Cause
Here we are again..........another battle of the bulge is about to commence !!
This time by the two contenders from the Desperate Housewives camp, June Jelly Belly Fear and Nicola Saggy Bottom Morley.
They will not be going head to head like the boys, but will be uniting together to reach their peak of lovleyness in order to attain the ultimate prize, one which we have all been eagerly awaiting (as well as an excuse for a damn good party) :
THE MARRIAGE OF MR NICHOLAS FIELD TO MS AMANDA JONES
Bridesmaid: Emily 'Strawberrry' Field
Pageboy: Harry 'Corn' Field
Matrons of Honour: Skinny Desperate Housewives !
This time by the two contenders from the Desperate Housewives camp, June Jelly Belly Fear and Nicola Saggy Bottom Morley.
They will not be going head to head like the boys, but will be uniting together to reach their peak of lovleyness in order to attain the ultimate prize, one which we have all been eagerly awaiting (as well as an excuse for a damn good party) :
THE MARRIAGE OF MR NICHOLAS FIELD TO MS AMANDA JONES
Bridesmaid: Emily 'Strawberrry' Field
Pageboy: Harry 'Corn' Field
Matrons of Honour: Skinny Desperate Housewives !
The idea was initially thought of some three months ago but was soon forgotten .......or denied ( Nick !!!!!) ..... however, last night..........with the help of copious amounts of Prossecco and Bombay Sapphire, hands were shaken and legally binding contracts were drawn up and signed without hesitation.
THE DEAL
In brief, should the two contenders loose the grand total of 1 stone each Nick will prove his total devotion and marry the mother of his children.
(hopefully without the need of any convoluted prenuptual agreements which involve time allowed windsurfing !!)
No doubt he thinks this is a safe enough bet and one which could infact help him bide his time on making that ultimate commitment (oooooooh I can just see Nick cringe at the dreaded word!) .......... little does he know about the workings of the female mind, I think a romantic Christmas Wedding 2008 is on the cards !!!!!!
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